Thought for the day

Years from now,
We'll remember and we'll come back,
Buy the rooftop and hang a plaque:
This is where we began,
Being what we can.
~Our Time from The Broadway Musical Merrily We Roll Along

So lost in ever so pensive thought during my lunch break at work at the Chamber of Commerce I once again finding myself thinking about the Barn Playhouse and the whole issue I had involving having a difficult time moving on from the summer I had there.
Depression is by any means not easy for anyone to deal with and it was really hard on me. The thing that was hardest that once we all left the Barn at the end of that AMAZING summer two years ago we all went our seperate ways to school and professional careers. Contact between me and some of my co-workers has fallen short and there were times when I was extensively worried that I was going to be forgotten about by people from my intern company.. especially those people in which contact has fallen by the wayside with ( Will Porter being a main person) I was ravaged by paranoia most of the time because I was fearful of being forgotten about by everyone I worked with that summer. Of course now I realize that I was being quite childish in my fear of being forgotten and that I kind of grew obsessed with that fear over an extended period of time which then would lead to driving certain people in my intern company crazy by flooding their email inboxes with so many apology emails. For the purpose of not being redundant I will not apologize again.. I've already done a lot of that over time and I've now realized that there is truly nothing to apologize for anymore.. nor was there ever really anything to apologize for in the first place.

Anyway speaking of NLBP in a few weeks I will be heading up there to go see Anything Goes. Last year my depression kind of kept me at bay from going back to the Barn to see any mainstage shows. I did go there to see the Junior Intern Production of Tea For Three which was based on my mother's childrren's book What A Pest. That production was awesome and very good. I am really excited about seeing Anything Goes and seeing the talent of this years intern company. It should be a really good show.
However, after I see this show I do not think I will go see any shows at the Barn in future seasons. Down the line my plans might change but one key aspect of my depression was that I had issues dealing with the management changes that the Barn has undergone since my intern company's departure from there at the end of summer 2007. A lot of the changes the theatre has gone through are things that really upset me snd at a time I thought I could change them by being outspoken about it. AKA: Creating a facebook group about the Junior Intern Fee and writing a letter to the editor of New London newspapers which I later decided not to send. That did not go over too well with someone I used to work with who still works at the Barn.. that is my biggest regret of last year to be honest. Later I realized I was beeing quite silly in thinking I could change what was going on at NLBP when I had not worked there for a year.

*end rant*