Excerpt from a Fan Fic I am working on

Excerpt from a fanfiction I am collaborating on with a fellow LSOH fan on fanfiction,net HermoineLennon. In it we are delving in to Audrey and Orin's relationship and how Audrey's overcomes the abuse. Let me just say that I am incredibly proud of this bc I have really been struggling with devloping Orin' s character... perhaps because I am not a huge fan of Orin but I think I captured his true essence. EPIC WIN :) Feedback appreciated

Orin was starting to get a little bit uncomfortable and suspicious. Why had Audrey invited him back to her.. they could have easily had dessert at the restaurant. He had a lot to do to get ready for a busy day at the office tomorrow. Why was Chiffon here? Orin wanted to be alone with Audrey. To him having Chiffon there was an invasion of privacy.
Dessert was eaten in uncomfortable silence.
After the dessert plates were cleared Audrey cleared her throat.
"Orin, we have to talk."
"Okay, then talk.. she has to leave though." = Orin said jerking his finger at Chiffon.
" No, sorry. I'm staying… for moral support." Chiffon said.
'What kind of moral support?' Orin thought to himself. Maybe he was better off not knowing.
"Orin, I wanted to talk to you… about us" Audrey said.
"What do you mean… talk about us?"
"Talk about our relationship… how certain things need to change."
"Like what?" Orin was starting to feel even more uncomfortable with Chiffon being in the room.
"Like the way you treat me."
"What do you mean? I treat you fine."
Chiffon snorted . "Hell, you do."
Orin shot a stony glance at her " Who's talkin to you?"
Chiffon had not meant to purposely interrupt Audrey's train of thought but she felt the need to throw in her two sense.
"Don't try to avoid the subject Orin. My friends and I can see how poorly you treat Audrey. Just look at her face."
"Yeah, what's wrong with it?"
"You see all those bruises on her cheek?"
"Yeah."
"You gave her those. You give her a new one every night when you beat her up."
"What's that got to do with anything?" Orin asked. He didn't appreciate how Chiffon was interfering.. Audrey could sense this.
"Chiffon I can take care of this from here. Feel free to stay if you want." She put her hand gently on her friend's shoulder. The last thing she wanted to happen was for Orin and Chiffon to get into a fight.
Chiffon went to sit in an easy chair in a corner that wasn't too far out of Audrey's view.
"Orin, I don't like the way you treat me."
"Really?"
"Yes really. I moved away from my house to get away from an abusive situation.. I never expected to get into another one when we started to date but look where things have ended up."
"So you don't want to be with me anymore?"
" I'm not really sure I can take the pain. Physically mentally or emotionally."
"Is there another guy?"
Audrey did not feel like mentioning the fact that she had feelings for Seymour. That would only make the situation worse. She couldn't even begin to picture what kind of terrible things he could do to Seymour.
"There's no other guy."
"You lyin to me?"
"No." she said meekly. She could sense Orin was about to hit her.
"You better not be lying to me you dirty slut."
Orin advanced toward her. Chiffon got up from her seat ready to pounce like a hungry cheetah.
His open hand was extended. It made a connection with her cheek.SLAP SLAP
"Orin, STOP!" Audrey screamed
"Hell, I will unless you tell me the truth." Orin said
SLAP SLAP
"Hey, didn't you hear her? She told you to stop." Chiffon said.
"What are you going to do about it Ms Nosy?" he asked.
Chiffon could see this was turning into a disaster.
"Audrey, I need to talk to Orin alone. Why don't you go into the bathroom and throw some cold water and cream on your face?"
Audrey sent a grateful look at her friend and left the room leaving Chiffon alone with the sadistic dentist. She looked him straight in the eye.
"Can't you see how scared she is of you?" she asked
"Do you think I care?" Orin sneered.
'Obviously you don't.' she thought to herself
"Orin, I think you need to back off from Audrey for awhile."
"She better not be cheating on me with that twerp Seymour. I'll bash his face in if she is."
"Please leave Seymour out of this. He has nothing to do with the way you treat Audrey. He's just as concerned about her as me and my two other friends are."


To read the complete chapter please go here: http://fanfiction.net/~showtunediva