From the finale number in Annie Get Your Gun <3
Today's topic: How long it took me to move on from stuff related to the New London Barn Playhouse.
Let's just say that sometimes transitions and life changes not matter if they are big or small. are not easy for me.
Key example: How long it took me to move on from stuff related to the Barn Playhouse as you will read...
In summer 2007 I had the most amazing experience of my life at the New London Barn Playhouse. I was downright depressed about stuff related to the Barn for a very long time. One thing that triggered my depression was the fact the Nancy Barry got fired. I found this news out in November 2007 from one of the high school students that I directed in Bravery Soup. Nancy was very instrumental to the Barn and not only that she was the person who hired me so naturally when I found out that news I was extremely pissed off. I was in a facebook group about for about two months but I eventually left it because I figured that no amount of complaining in a facebook group would bring Nancy back to work at the Barn. Plus she opened a new theatre in Meredith and she is doing very well there. So that's the only positive thing that has come out of this whole situation. I have heard from various sources that since then things have continued to go downhill. Not surprising to be honest. Part of dealing with my depression has been learning to deal with the changes the Barn Playhouse is going through and realizing that I can't change them (ie the junior intern fee that is going to be instituted this summer)
Another thing that was a trigger to my depression about NLBP was the fact that I was fearful of forgetting memories and being forgotten about by the other people I worked with including one of the acting interns Will Porter who I grew incredibly close to by the end of the summer.
One thing that I only started to realize recently was that even though people have moved on from their experience at NLBP it doesn't necessiarly mean that they have forgotten about me or don't want to be my friends anymore. (Thanks Caroline Kittrell)
I should have moved on from stuff related to the Barn Playhouse several months ago and I am extremely happy that now I am finally completely over my depression. I am at a point now where I am no longer depressed and where I can move on. Watch the dvds without getting emotional and miss working on the shows I worked on,look at all the pictures in my scrapbook and on facebook without getting sad and thinking that I've been forgotten about by the other people I worked with because I haven't I can finally say " That was a fun summer" and not get sad about missing certain aspects of the experience (ie the cast parties, being in Annie Get Your Gun) I also apologized to the other interns that I worked with far too much about the fact that it took me so long to move on from stuff related to the Barn.. the guilt I was feeling toward being annoying to them because I was drowning in the fear that I was going to be forgotten about by everyone. Thanks Ryan for helping me to realize that. Of course now I know now that I was most likely just being paranoid. I've been pretty paranoid all along.
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